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As a clinical psychologist, published author, and mother to two cheeky young children, I get it. I’ve spent YEARS researching and filtering through the noise online, so you don’t have to.
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When it comes to aggressive behaviors, it’s tempting to overcomplicate things by:
But please don’t… Here’s what to try instead.
It’s really simple.
When kids get aggressive (e.g., hitting, kicking, throwing, biting, etc.)…
(i.e., set boundaries with action not words). This often looks like moving them to another room, removing objects from the environment, moving your body away but staying close by)
Because here’s the thing…
Your main focus when your kid gets dysregulated is to stay calm and help keep everyone safe.
That’s it.
Stay calm & keep everyone safe (as best as you can).
It’s not the time to lecture, try to reason with them, or teach new skills.
Basically, it’s not the time to talk.
This often escalates the situation (depending on your child’s level of dysregulation).
The bulk of what you do when it comes to minimizing aggression is actually done *outside the moment.*
Yes, in the moment it’s important to send a strong message that you don’t tolerate aggressive behaviors & that you’re committed to keeping everyone safe but far too often, we underestimate how important it is to circle back to these concepts when everyone is calm.
When they are in an emotional state, it’s hard for them to have a back and forth conversation or internalize new lessons.
You are doing more than enough by minimizing your words, staying connected, and taking action to keep everyone safe.
Remember, the more regulated *you* are, the more your child will begin to calm down, too.
Let’s take this conversation further. Let me know common triggers for your child’s anger in the comments!
Download my free ebook: Your 3-Step Plan When Your Child Gets Angry or Aggressive
This ebook is going to give you the tools you need to:
Visit themompsychologist.com/ebook to download the e-book for free!
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