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As a clinical psychologist, published author, and mother to two cheeky young children, I get it. I’ve spent YEARS researching and filtering through the noise online, so you don’t have to.
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Does your child often meltdown when you’re not doing things “quick” enough? Or they’re not getting their needs met?
Or maybe they’re screaming at you, “I want it now!!!” Yikes.
Here’s how to respond…
I don’t know about y’all but as a mom of 3, I have a no tolerance policy for demanding behavior.
If we don’t lovingly intervene *in the moment,* children learn quick that making demands is how they get their needs. No sir, no ma’am.
Now, big caveat, if you have a toddler or a child who has speech delays or special needs, this will take them time and lots of practice to get this skill. So we start establishing boundaries in toddlerhood, but be patient and consistent. It takes kids time and lots of practice to learn new ways of communicating especially when upset.
This slows everyone down & helps your child feel understood.
You don’t need to act just yet. Just simply take note (out loud) of what you observe happening. This will help you process and think of the next steps.
Convey that you understand where they’re coming from but that this is your boundary/this is what’s happening.
Every context is so different but here are a couple of examples to help get you started:
Once you’ve figured out what they need, coach them to get their needs met with more respectful communication.
Because here’s the thing – it’s really hard for kids to access language when they feel overwhelmed (its hard for us adults, too).
So in these moments, the most loving thing we can do is slow them down & give them the words to say things differently.
So you can try phrases like…
The biggest messages you want to send during these moments are:
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This ebook is going to give you the tools you need to:
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As a clinical psychologist, published author, and mother to three young children, I get it. I’ve spent YEARS researching and filtering through the noise online, so you don’t have to.