When is the most appropriate age to talk about the truth of Thanksgiving? I think it’s closer to preschool age, so 4 or 5 years old. For toddlers, the focus is on gratitude and thankfulness and exposing them to Native American heritage and culture. 

But we should start thinking about how to navigate the nuances of this topic when they’re still toddlers. 

Explore these topics by asking:

• What does gratitude and thankfulness mean?
• What does gratitude and thankfulness look like?
• How do we practice gratitude and thankfulness in everyday life and language? 

Then lead with information celebrating and honoring the culture of Native Americans by making sure you’re honoring both the history and making it clear they’re still around today. 

Around age 4 and 5 is when you can start to honor the nuances of the history of Thanksgiving. 

We want to teach them there was a feast. But also teach them that this feast happened during a time when it was really hard for the Native Americans when the Europeans weren’t treating the Native Americans fairly. 

Preschoolers have a good grasp of the idea of fairness. You can help them understand what is fair and what is not fair, and then help your kids understand the Europeans were not treating the Native Americans fair and nice overall.

The other concept I like to introduce around preschool age – and especially as they get older – is the idea of storytelling.

History is about telling a story about how things were before us. It’s important to pay attention to how the story changes depending on who’s telling the story. Help your kids understand there are different perspectives of the same story.

In doing this, you’re helping them think critically about the information that they’re taking in. Ask questions like:

• Whose story is being told here?
• Do you think there might be a different side of the story? Why might that be?

Also, help your child understand for Native Americans Thanksgiving is not a holiday that is about celebration. It’s actually a somber holiday – a day of mourning, honoring ancestors, and the pain they had to go through because Europeans didn’t treat them nice or fair. 

We want our children to learn the importance of being aware of our United States History – even when it’s not pleasant or easy to talk about. We want to raise children to honor different cultures and be able to understand the history of the United States (which may be different from what they learn at school). 

In order to do this work, we must educate ourselves as parents about the history of this country and Native Americans because these narratives being taught to our children in school are simply a myth and perpetuating stereotypes.

Here are some books that are a nice complement to these ideas and teach the true history of Thanksgiving:

For more books that teach about gratitude and thankfulness, check out my Amazon store.

Also look at these other resources:

Native Land Digital

This great website breaks down the different tribes, Native land, and helps you understand what land you occupy and then help your child understand that concept as well.

Woke Homeschooling

Social Studies: The Truth About Thanksgiving

How do you navigate what your kids are learning at school versus what you’re teaching at home when they’re not aligned?

First, if you know your child’s teacher and school are doing certain things that are offensive, like dressing up as Native Americans, I would have a conversation with your school about why this is offensive, why your child won’t be participating, and why you don’t think it should be done. 

Then have that same conversation with your child about why they’re not participating in the activity and why it’s offensive to Native Americans. 

But remember, we don’t have control over what happens, but what we can control is how we advocate and how we have these conversations in our homes. 

You never know the impact you’ll have by speaking up. 

Thankful for you,

Dr. Jazmine

P.S. Ever wonder what type of parent you are? Like do you tend to be more permissive, authoritarian, or do you strike a balance between love & limits (authoritative)?

Take my Parenting Style Quiz and find out! All you need is 2 minutes and an email address. 

Once you complete the quiz, I’ll send you a personalized report and video with your results. You’ll receive several resources that will help you grow to create more cooperation and connection to transform your relationship with your child.