As parents, we’re approaching connection all wrong!
topics:
Rather listen? Here’s a link to this episode on my podcast!
I don’t know who needs to hear this but connecting with our kids is not just about snuggles & play time…
Let me explain…
So I was recently coaching a parent inside my private community…
In the midst of discussing her daughter’s problematic behavior, she said, “I don’t get it. We spend time every day together. I spend so much time connecting with her.”
So then I asked, “What does connection look like?” To which she replied, “Playing, watching movies, reading books, etc.”
But here’s the thing: Connection is about so much more than play time.
Yes, spending intentional 1:1 time with our kids every day *is* sooo important, namely for preventing behavioral issues and enhancing connection.
But as our children age, connection is about sooo much more.
Here are a few other ways to deeply connect with your child.
- Circling back to difficult moments when everyone is calm to truly listen & plan for next time.
- Taking time to ask, “How am I doing as your parent? What can I do better?” and then listening without becoming defensive.
- Saying, “I’m sorry.” and then hearing how your mistake impacted them.
- Coaching them through a difficult moment.
- Setting boundaries and explaining the *why* behind your boundaries.
- Saying, “You know what. You’re right. I change my mind. Let’s do it this/your way…”
- “Thanks for challenging me to think differently about this…”
- Asking them, “What do you think about this?”
- Allowing plenty of opportunities for them to lead: “I hear you. You want to do it this way. Thanks for letting me know. Go ahead.”
Connection is more than snuggling and having happy moments with our kids.
Connection can be found when we take difficult moments as opportunities to listen, teach, apologize, and even change our minds as parents.
It’s going to be hard to see shifts in behavior if we’re not connecting with our kids in these ways.
Want to feel calmer and more connected with your child?
Watch my free discipline workshop for practical tools for increasing your child’s cooperation without having to resort to all the things you hate like yelling, threatening and punishing!
You’ll learn:
- How to stop the cycle of constantly having to yell when you need your child to stop doing negative behavior.
- How to help calm your child’s intense feelings (like anger and sadness) and teach them healthy social and emotional skills so they thrive in *all* settings.
- Step by step guide to better cooperation & connection using my research-based framework.
What do *you* think about this topic? What does connection look like for you as a parent?
Was this helpful? Save it for later!
